I’m not what I think I am…
I’m not what you think I am…
I’m what I think you think I am…
Well, it’s the most toughest job for me to tell about me. “Who am I?” is one of the most paradoxical questions I’ve ever faced in my life. So simply I can’t tell about me, or what I tell about me or think about me might not provide you with the true representation of my character and personality. So don’t rely on my writings or my views and thoughts expressed in this blog. I think it’s better to explore me to know who and what I am. Though the previous sentence is also my thinking which you can’t rely on… and so on… and so on… :)
So that’s a complex story! Let’s make it simple. Simply, I’m here to tell about myself. To tell about me in a form of a brief story and my dreams about the future. Let’s start from the very beginning, the dawn of my life…
1:30 AM, 10th June, 1984
It was a dark night of the month of Ramadan, a little baby boy suddenly started to cry. It was for the first time in his life he felt like he came to a new world. A new environment, the unknown. He has never seen anything like this, has never felt anything like this, never knew anything like this, but he knew somehow how to scream! For the very first time he experienced the fear of the unknown and the very first lesson his neural network learned was how to cry.
Everyone was happy inside the room in central hospital located at Matlab upazilla. Everybody was curious to see the new born baby. The baby was sleeping and smiling at the same time. Nobody knew what was the dream that made him smile, and moreover nobody knew how did he learn to smile?
Well, a new journey started for the little innocent boy in the unknown and mysterious world, the Earth. A struggle to adapt with the unknown space and time. And a struggle to destroy every memory of the world from which he came. Just like formatting the hard-disk to install a new operating system, isn’t it?
We know operating systems cannot recover the lost data from the disk after format. But special software can help you to recover some of the lost data even after format. So I believe, there are still signatures in my memory that can be decoded through some procedures to recover my lost memory, my lost world from where I came to this world. I’ve learned how to survive in this world day by day and adapted my operating system with the laws of nature and the laws of the physical world. But I feel I’m missing something very important, which is the knowledge about my lost world where I was before my birth and the new world where I will be after my death.
Whatever, the story continues… the new born baby boy was given the name “Masum” which is an Arabic word meaning “innocent”. Masum started his life and day by day adjusted himself with the new unknown world. He started to copy behaviors he saw with the people around, started to copy sounds from others, started to learn his mother language Bangla. He started to understand other people behaviors, though he did never understand his own being, what he called “Me”. He also learned the word “Me” from others, and also learned where and when to use that word. But did never understand what is that which he calls “Me”! He could only interact with the outside world and adjust with the illusions of life.
Well, honestly saying, I can’t remember what happened after my birth, how did i learn to talk to others and how I became somebody who cares most about himself (though he doesn’t know what is that). I only understand that I’m one of those very typical persons, who has successfully formatted(forgot) his hard-disk (memory) and installed(adjusted with) a new operating-system(life).
The earliest part of my life that I can remember is the Flood of 1988 in Bangladesh. I used to play with water near my house and created some little toy boats using folding paper. The art of origami that I learned and loved throughout my childhood and later found that origami is not just a kids topic.
I first went to school in the early 1990′s. The name of the school was “Ideal School, Matlab”. Those days were awesome and though that was a school placed in a rural area, but I must admit that it was one of the most greatest place for a kid to learn the goals of his life and to learn the basics of morality and behavior. I don’t know how much I could learn and how much I forgot later and how much I’ve implemented those lessons in my lifestyle, but no doubt that was the place I miss the most.
Though in that time my dreams were to become older quickly. I didn’t want to wait so long 5 years to pass the primary school. But I had to stay there and compete with other boys. I didn’t know that was the start of a long long race where I have to compete every moment with other people around.
In 1996, I completed my primary education and got admitted in the secondary school named “Matlab J.B. Pilot High School”. It was a renowned school in that area, but I did start to miss the primary school memories. The same thing happened when I left my high school in the year of 2001 and admitted in “NotreDame College, Dhaka“. This time it was much bitter because I had to leave the place where I was born and where I passed my childhood and went to the capital city of Bangladesh. But we can’t stay in the same place with the same people all the time, though sometimes it makes you sad, sometimes tears in your eyes, but you have to leave, this is what life is all about. After passing H.S.C in 2003, I went to Bangladesh University of Engineering and Technology (BUET) for graduation in Computer Science and Engineering. I passed really good time in my university with many good people around me, good friends and people with a lot of enthusiasm and varying goals.
Beside my studies, I love to play both indoor and outdoor games. I played a lot of cricket in my high school career. I was one of the fastest bowler there and sometimes played too good :P Though my bowling was not that much controlled all the time as far as the line and length is concerned :) But believe me, sometimes my 2 overs were enough to break down the whole batting lineup of the opponent!! But please don’t tell this to others that sometimes it was me who gave away 29 runs before even completing a single over :P. I was really good at field too. My natural fitness provided me the opportunity to try to dive like jaunty though the fields there were not that grassy smooth, but who cares! I got injured several times, but you know a teenager would not fear to die for getting praised by the crowd of people watching the match. So I became famous there for having safe hands for taking brilliant catches. But it is unfortunate that after I left for Dhaka, I hardly got an opportunity to play and it’s bad luck for Bangladesh that the career of another promising(?) cricketer slowly came to an end :P
Well let’s stop kidding and be realistic. I also love to play football, badminton, table-tennis, chess and computer games. I was the owner of the champion’s trophy in a local chess tournament. Also me and my friend was the leading badminton team there in playing doubles. Those days were really awesome. I never played table-tennis before I joined Trippert Labs (acquired by Playdom later) as a Software Engineer in iPhone Game Development Team. So initially it was really hard time to adjust with playing against some really good players there. But if you ask them, they will tell you how much I improved! Even managed to get the award for the title “Most Unmovable Player” in the table-tennis tournament 2009, arranged in my office. I don’t want to disclose the meaning or value of that title here, as an award is an award, no matter whatsoever, my Trippert colleagues knows that very well :P
Another thing that I like most is tourism. It’s always interesting to visit new places. I like natural beauties and was very much interested in joining tours to different places. But recently the enthusiasm about tours had almost vanished but I don’t know why. Is it the rudeness of the city where I’ve adjusted myself or something else? Whatever it is, I’m still waiting for my enthusiasm about tours to come back. Because I miss it too much.
Well, I think I should stop for now, It would take thousands of pages, but my analysis about myself might not be complete. Honestly saying, actually I don’t understand myself, that’s why I can’t express me in brief :) The only thing I might know about me is, I want to be very simple. I believe, simplicity is the most beautiful thing to have, but from my personal experience I can tell you it’s the most complex thing on earth to achieve.
Masum is currently the Director of Application Development at Mukto Software Ltd.
Involved in the development of Social Web Applications and iOS/Facebook Games.
Likes to deal with new technologies, web server platforms and doing interesting technical stuffs.
Fields of Interest
Though the universe itself including my existence over here is an interesting thing to me. Sometimes I feel like I’m lost in lots of lots of interesting things out there in my surroundings and in the havens. But I think as a human being, I’m just like all the other people over here with limitations and disabilities. So some key areas of human knowledge I’m most interested in are listed here:
- Artificial Intelligence, Computer Simulation, Graphics & Security
- Fractal Geometry, Dynamical Systems and Game Theory
- Quantum Mechanics, Unified Field Theory & Philosophy
- Archeology, Ancient Civilizations & The Lost Technologies
Me in Short Terms
Name: Md. Mahfuzur Rahman
Nick Name: Masum
Birthday: June 10, 1984
Current City: Dhaka, Bangladesh
~ Francis Bacon